In the eye of the beholder

You find all of your ugly meanings
in all of the things I find beautiful

You perceive all of these things
I’d never have known.

You painted me in pastel,
colors that don’t tell of any boldness.
That’s the way you’d love to see me:
so delicate, so weak, so little purpose.

Body in a box

I regretfully cannot, although I had known her pretty much all my life, say that I was heartbroken at her leaving this world to join with the Father up there. I just...didn't share a closeness like that with her. And I feel that, not even thinking about the extremity of paradise in heaven, it's just so much better up there for her than...down here. But I think this was and is a case of celebration, because she has gone to a place with no sickness, no pain, no restrictions. "Eternity...where death is just a memory and tears are no more." Albeit the sense of loss, there is also a happiness there, for she is with the One her heart yearned to be with all along.

However, in terms of "down here," I can still say that this one was still heartbreaking...seeing mom go up there to give her eulogy. It was the worst...the pain in her heart bursting through her eyes in the form of tears that were forcing their way out, in spite of the immense effort to keep them in. I had never seen her that way...even if I'd seen tears from her in the past, this was much worse than I imagined :(. And the things she said to me...what am I supposed to do =\...? And what to say? I am at a loss.

Man...this weekend has been a taxing one to say the least...