Trust and obey

When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Refrain:
Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,
Can abide while we trust and obey.

Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.

But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet,
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way;
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.

(Sorry, the link didn't seem to be working) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c98_uwooblA

So yesterday was Sunday. I was part of the worship team to help Nathan with worship leading as one of the vocalists, and the above was one of the songs that we sang. I think a lot of the time, we look at the lyrics of hymns differently than we might for more modern songs - we don't really see the truth in them and instead of singing it from our hearts, it kind of just comes out as some words with a tune. The first couple of lines of the first verse...("When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word/ What a glory He sheds on our way!") they hold so much truth. When I kind of strayed away from reading His Word regularly on my own time, it was hard to find any kind of glory anywhere. Joy wasn't often felt to its full extent. A lot of things were just lukewarm, alright, okay - not great, nor amazing, nor something that would lead me to be awe-struck. It was harder to lead life. I was trying to find only specific things that I wished for God to provide, so that I was semi-blind to the things He was already providing.

Anyways, at 7:30pm would be S.N.O.W.'s (acronym for Sunday Night Of Worship) 3rd anniversary and I was feeling a little down 'cause no one could/would go with me. I felt like I really wanted to go and have fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ, and to worship with them with a raw heart for God. I feel like now that I have finally started to regain my fire for Him, I can't stop worshipping and praising Him, like I want to (as opposed to feeling like I have to) make up for the lack of passion for the last while. And I know best how to do it through an explosion of song from the heart, surrounded by other children of God whose souls are also crying out to Him.

But it started to near the time of the 3rd anniversary celebration (I learned a couple things about celebrations - I'll share it with you later) and I had not found anyone to go with. I was going to resort to taking transit there and back in the snow to Dalhousie station by myself and getting someone to pick me up from there, because of the lack of buses in my community on Sunday evenings. My mother would not have approved:P But God provided for me. My lovely pal Tim would not only go with me, but also give me the rides I needed to get there and back home safely:) I don't know if what I just shared with you may seem a little stupid and irrelevant to you, but you must know that as someone who, let's say, doesn't have access to vehicle use, it is sometimes extremely difficult to spend my life trying to find ways to get to places across the city. I think sometimes people forget to appreciate the use of a simple vehicle, and the access to a warm ride to wherever you are going. The passing of 20 minutes as opposed to 1.5-2 hours in travelling. I don't mind taking transit, but a ride is veryyy much appreciated when it is available to me. It is not taken for granted. And God in His abundant provision gave me a very enjoyable one for me that night.

Really, He has provided for me over and over again. And I finally am able to see it again.

I just am so glad to be able to see God's blessings again - it was a miserable time in the past year during which I could not seem to find joy in any of them. But Jeremiah 29:13 says "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." I just have to make sure I'm always seeking Him with all of my heart, at all times. With all my heart, soul and mind.

So. I have a blog.

Lately I've been trying to think of a good way to let out all of my thoughts, all of the things that God has been teaching me. And I've also been reading some good blogs. So I decided, maybe I should start a blog too. So here it is.

Frankly, this blogging might be kind of risky for me because a lot of the things that God teaches me are extremely personal, and I usually only share it with my kids(church youth group kids!<3), and a very select few other people. This is going to be revealing my life almost at its most raw, but I think I'll proceed with it anyways.

So...here's the nut in the nutshell. To be honest, I felt like for quite a while...maybe a year or year and a half, my relationship with God has kind of come to a standstill. Not a "bad" one, but not a good one either. In fact, it felt like everything was just stuck. Stuck where it was. Not picking up. I started to lack passion during the week, started to forget to pray, forget to read my bible, to be thankful for simple things throughout the day. I became a different sense of the term "Sunday Christian," feeling like I was only able to have an outlet for my fervour and passion on weekends at church. Not because I wanted to, per se, but I really felt a struggle during the weekdays to have that wonder of God to the same extent that I had known before. And I knew it. I saw it everyday, and started to realize that I wasn't doing my part - it takes two to make a relationship. And obviously, because God never leaves my side, it was me who wasn't noticing Him there. It wasn't as if I started "doing bad things," it's just that I would forget things that I had made a habit of before, in terms of living for God and with God in my life. I was still going to church every Friday and Saturday night, and still attending service and Sunday school on Sundays.

Speaking of which. Oops. This is going to be an abrupt ending to the first post. I just realized it is 12:48am and I must leave the house early for worship practice tomorrow morning. I guess that was only part of the nut haha. Maybe I'll continue it soon this week. Farewell for now!