So something weird happened. Encounter #1: All of a sudden it was back to the way it was, and every time after that, it was comfortable and joyful each time. The dull and muddy enjoyment that came with the long separation became a once-again fresh love, rekindled for my lost friend. There were even attempts (wow...effort? I was so pleasantly surprised! And I felt like everything was alright in the world...in my world) to get together. I was so glad! Then a regretful "yes" was said and thus Encounter #2 took place. My insecurities, silence and awkwardness came out in the situation, as they always do in such settings with such people - people I do not know and cannot seem to, for the life of me, converse with. And then the distance grew.
Really? Seriously...really? Something that could be so good again, something that could return to health. Thrown against the stupid brick wall of that place and broken to pieces. How can one slight fact change it to the point of evaporation? As if that fact is the foundation of a friendship. Of ours. It hurts a lot. You've made me so angry. This weird piercing anger. Ugh.
Maybe sometime soon I'll stop being chicken and tell you to your face.
We're both good actors.
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